So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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