that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
honey bunches of taint.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
