No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As shirtless as possible
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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