She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
