i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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