we made out on top of his cat.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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