well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
