maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Randomize
