TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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