if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
