I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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