found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
