She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
