I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
