**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
