Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
