New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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