hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
only if we run a train.
done.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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