sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
