Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
