Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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