Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
