got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
