I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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