After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
