I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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