THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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