i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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