when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I will die if light touches me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Drake has all the answers
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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