Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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