Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Someone shattered a urinal.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
