Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
