My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
