Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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