he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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