this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
