I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
