sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
