Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
