And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
