got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
