I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
