I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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