I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
