I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
