it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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