you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
