at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
