Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
