I am puke
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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